I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
