FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
