its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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