one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My vagina is very pro this idea
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
