Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
