So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
