Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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