so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
