Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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