when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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