You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
