sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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