lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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