I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
