I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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