It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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