New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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