i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
