I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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