I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I would fuck him just for his dog
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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