I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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