I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
