UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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