I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
