just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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