weddingsv make me drug and hornr
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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