Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I have post one night stand depression
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