3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
