i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
