Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
