Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
