My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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