i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
