Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
