I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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