i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
