I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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