We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
