I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
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I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
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new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.