My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i'm high and self actualising, please send help