As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
whose parrot is this?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?