This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.