On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples