dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
