Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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