there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
