i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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