Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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