Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
