yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
