It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I am naked and annoyed.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
