And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
