look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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