You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
