I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
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No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
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I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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