porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
