dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
