I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
