I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My vagina is officially offended.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
