So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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