UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
3pm strippers are depressing
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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