I want to have your abortion
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
