sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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