i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
