Nicole vs. Life
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
