careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
